Just Be Yourself

After my trip back to the U.S. and seeing a few friends and family I begin to realize something about my struggles with the language and the differences in culture.

Yes, I find the language difficult to learn, and yes, it is frustrating not to be able to communicate the way I want to. However, that isn’t what truly bothers me. It is not what I find to be the most challenging aspect of this adventure.

What I struggle with the most is not having the freedom to be myself. I’ve met people here. I see and talk with others regularly. What I’m realizing is that beyond the language barrier is the inability to express myself as I normally would.

You can learn a language, translate words and communicate your basic idea, but it is difficult, impossible really, to be completely comfortable and express your true personality. Slang and cultural barriers prevent you from sharing a joke or having another understand your sarcasm. I’m finding this is what I miss the most and I realize it so much more after hanging out with old friends back home.

I’m not sure how others in my life would describe me, but I’m aware of some specific aspects of my personality. I like to laugh and joke. I’m sarcastic and down right cynical from time to time. I also have a positive side that peaks out every now and then which stems from my spiritual beliefs. I like sharing inside jokes and also having deeper conversations about the technical/scientific things I’m passionate about like health and wellness.

Don’t get me wrong I truly enjoy many of the conversations I have with the people here. I have also met many that I now consider friends. Sometimes there is just that desire to completely relax, be you and be understood. I guess at times I just miss being me, the way I am when I’m in my comfort zone.