Group Post: Adjustment

When I began this blog about my experiences in Brazil I started seeking out more and more ex-pat blogs to read. I really like comparing the challenges and fun times, as well as learning about a new place.

Some blogs I’ve followed for a while now are from a group of ex-pats in Chile. These girls are honest and entertaining writers and I enjoy keeping up with them.

Recently they have been doing group posts every other weekend and Kyle, the organizer of the posts, has always invited other ex-pats to join in. It hasn’t worked out for me in past weeks, but the topic this week provoked some thoughts so I decided to join in.

The topic this week: Hardest Custom to Adjust to in (enter country here)

I had to think about this a while because quite frankly there has been a lot of adjustment going on in my life for the past year. I think the hardest for me involves two issues that share the common subject of time.

First, it is the custom that every thing, situation, event, etc. turns out to be a long, drawn out process.

My perception is that many people who move to Brazil are attracted to the laidback lifestyle. While this isn’t a huge draw for me, we enjoy some of the benefits of it. We’ve really grown accustomed to long, relaxing dinners and actually are turned off by eating out in the US.

You know, where dinner hits your table before you are done with salads, the bill hits the table after your second bite of the entrée and the servers wait impatiently for you to pay so they can get a new group in. We’d prefer a Brazilian restaurant experience over that any day.

It is just that some things take forever, for example, get-togethers with friends whether at a restaurant or a BBQ at someone’s house. We arrive and wonder for about 2 hours when the party is going to actually start. Then after we’ve been there a long while we start wondering if it is ever going to end.

I might like you a lot, but I’m simply not the type of person who wants to spend the entire day and night with you. I have many close friends, but getting together for a couple hours at a time is just about perfect. Luckily most of my friends feel the same.

While I’ve gotten used to this and I appreciate every chance I get to experience local events I really do miss entertaining and the types of parties I often enjoyed with my groups of friends in the States. I like the idea of getting together for a couple hours then going off to do your own thing on the weekends.

I guess maybe what it comes down to is that I enjoy a lot of alone time, or time with just my husband. The weekends are just too valuable for me to give them up to long drawn out events on a regular basis.

Since I’m talking about the topic of drawn out processes I’ll throw in one other small thing here. Although my patience level has probably tripled since moving sometimes I am still baffled at how the simplest task can take forever - grocery checkout, bank, bill paying. Sometimes it is unbelievable, but I’ve accepted it. Let’s move on.

The second custom that deals with time that I’ve had a very hard time getting adjusted to is the nonchalant attitude towards appointments and schedules. Now let me say that there are a lot of people from the US that are like me and there are a lot that aren’t. I dealt with this kind of issue at home, but it is much more extreme in Brazil, especially appointments made by businesses.

I am the type of person that views timeliness as a sign of respect. Respecting someone’s time and keeping your word is an important value in my set work ethics and the way I live my life.

So when we came down here and 8:00 actually meant 8:45 and the Internet company said they’d be here Wednesday and came on Friday without a word of apology, it really drove me crazy.

It doesn’t bother me when dealing with casual appointments with friends or acquaintances anymore. I’ve grown accustomed to the fact that I really don’t have to be on time here.

However when dealing with businesses, I’m not sure I’ll ever fully adjust to it. There is just so much competition in the States and I’m learning that I like it that way. If a company promises to be there on a certain day and shows up two days later with no contact whatsoever I have the freedom to cancel their services and move on to the next company.

Here, there is only one company in town that does the specific service. Either that or everyone else who offers the service shows up late too so as a customer you are stuck. You really have no power at all. You are forced to wait around receiving what I view as disrespect as a paying customer.

I do realize that it probably doesn’t mean disrespect in this culture and that is where the level of understanding has to come on my part, but no one ever said I had to actually like it.

I’ve changed a lot. I can stand in line for a very long time without feeling impatient and I welcome a long evening with my husband at a restaurant. I love to relax, but when it comes to having free time and getting service that is the proper quality for the price I’m paying I have preferences. Good or bad, these are two areas where my views will probably never change.

If you want to read more of the posts check out Just Married Chilean Style and Don't call me gringa.